"We live ourselves into new ways of thinking."

“We do not think ourselves into new ways of living, we live ourselves into new ways of thinking.”
― Richard Rohr

This quote came up this weekend towards the end of our last small group session.  It made me pause enough to quick write it down so I could come back to reflect on it later.

Richard Rohr is one of the Enneagram gurus and so it seems appropriate to think about this in the context of being an Enneagram Five.  As a Five, I am a thinker.  If I'm not careful, I can get stuck in the thinking stage.  And although I find a lot of value in my ability to think things through and reflect, this year has really shown me that change doesn't happen without action.  My entire perspective didn't start changing until I started truly living.

It took taking that first step onto a grate in New York City in those first moments of being overwhelmed with such a place to start to find my courage.  It took literally losing myself on Jekyll Island last Christmas to start the process of finding myself again.  It took standing in a room full of strangers pretending to be an elephant in an Improv class to expand my view of who I could be.  It took many conversations around dinner tables with new friends to realize how critical connection and community is.

None of those things were easy.  I am in awe that I found the courage to do all of those things (and so much more).  

I've spent a lot of the last year and a half thinking and reflecting on my marriage and what went wrong - important healing work.  But in terms of building a new life, I really have boldly stepped into action over and over and over again.  I am truly living myself into a new way of thinking.  If I had stayed in my thoughts, I never would have even imagined what I now realize is possible.  And watching the transformation in my thinking this year makes me realize that the vision of what I think is possible today will continue to evolve in ways that I will only understand if I continue to live.