This morning on my way to work, I walked past his patio, as I always do when leaving the complex because that is my easiest way out. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a huge cage-like structure sitting there. I was past it before I had time to do any processing of what I might have seen so just kept walking figuring I would take a look when I returned home and would pass it again.
What used to sit on his patio were two oversized outdoor chairs with covers. We bought them during the marriage. He wanted something comfy. Personally, I would have preferred something that took up a lot less space so I could move around better on our balcony but as usual, we got what he wanted. My studio doesn't have a balcony and I wouldn't have wanted them either way, so he took them both when we separated and placed them on the first floor patio of his new apartment.
At some point in the past year, he added a cat tree to the corner for the stray cats that have been living at our complex and started putting food out for them. At least two of the stray cats were regularly seen perched on the cat tree or one of the chairs.
Today, one of those chairs is gone. In its place is a large cage that faces the door to his unit and the cat tree is now inside the cage. Maybe he got an indoor cat that he wants to be able to go outside? Is this a catio? One of the stray cats was sitting on the remaining chair (outside the cage). I wondered if it missed access to the cat tree.
I walked past there one more time on my way to choir this evening and that is when the symbolism stopped me in my tracks as I laughed out loud. If he had his door or windows open, I'm sure he heard me! He has a girlfriend and yet he now only has one chair on his patio. He decided to replace the second chair that his girlfriend could have sat in next to him as they enjoyed the patio with a giant enclosure for a cat!
Early on, I realized his cars would always be more important than me. I even wrote a journal entry about that before we married. Then early in the marriage, I learned his mom would also always be more important than me. After we moved back to Wisconsin and he was interviewing for a law enforcement position yet refused to talk to me about how it would affect our marriage, I realized his career would always be more important than me. And as he lived up life in Philadelphia, the city where he decided to divorce me, much of the first half of 2024, I realized his freedom would always be more important than me. Even his comfort was always more important than working through conflict to benefit us as a couple. I was such a low priority, I'm not even sure I made the list.
Now, the cats have added one more level of priority that I'm sure will always be above any girlfriend he ever has.
He clearly hasn't changed at all. And he is not my problem anymore!
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