Anger

I'm not myself tonight.  I'm feeling bitter and angry.  I feel like I wasted two decades of my energy and joy on someone who wasn't willing to be a partner who was worth it, someone who manipulated me to get me to stay instead of just showing up.  He could have just left me the fuck alone if he didn't want to show up as a decent human being.

And then for him to end it by putting all the blame on me, re-writing our story to make him out to be the victim and me the villain, and then running out the door so he didn't have to actually explain or take any accountability.

I didn't deserve this.  No one does.

So I'm really angry at him tonight, maybe more angry than I have ever felt.  

It only took me 15 months to have enough clarity to see through his manipulations and the destructive effect it had on my energy, my joy, my nervous system, my physical health, and my sense of self.  

How can someone do that much destruction to another human being and still sleep at night?