The role travel plays

I almost cancelled this trip.  I'm in a phase where I'm trying to save money and for some odd reason a weekend away didn't seem quite as important.  As this trip comes to an end, I have realized these trips play a different purpose now.

Before it was about escape, escape from the monotony of life, maybe even escape from the day to day of my marriage.  I used to count the days until the next trip.  And there wasn't a federal holiday that I didn't earmark for some trip which was prompted my gut reaction to book a hotel for this weekend.

Now the trips just sneak up on me.  The days between trips no longer feel like just marking time.  These trips no longer feel like an escape.  I have a full life now that I don't need to escape from.  Now it is about the journey and what I can learn about myself.  And it's about reconnecting with my spiritual side, my draw to Mother Nature.  It's a way to remind myself of my place in this world.

I walked two and half miles (round-trip) on the beach last night after sunset.  I arrived just as the sun had dipped below the horizon.  The breathtaking colors were reflecting off the sand where the waves had retreated, the same sand where sanderlings were running along.  I followed those sanderlings until the last light faded and all I could see where the lights of the condos in the distance and the beginnings of the stars coming out above my head.  

And then I turned around.  The moon had not risen yet but my eyes had slowly adjusted as the sunlight had faded away.  The waves crashing on the sand sounded so much louder, drowning out my thoughts.  Occasionally, I could hear the songs of the sanderlings as they flew past me.  The sand where the waves had just retreated felt warm to my bare feet while the rest of the sand was starting to cool with the night air.  Occasionally a large wave would surprise me, splashing the hem of my dress and making me smile.

It's moments like this that leave me in awe as I feel the connection between my body and the earth, as I get lost in the present moment without a care for the past or the future.  As my life feels small, yet without losing meaning and significance, in a world that is so much greater than me.

So maybe I didn't "need" this trip in the same way I used to feel I needed these weekend trips but it has added to my journey in ways I couldn't have contemplated when I booked this hotel a few months ago.  I'm so glad I didn't cancel.