I can't wait to see the memories that will pop up over the next ten days or so. I imagine today's memories will be me boarding the Amtrak after work. Tomorrow will the evening I first stepped into the streets of New York City. What an overwhelming moment that was! And then the courage I found with every step I took. The grates I so boldly strolled across despite a lifetime of fear of them. And the people, so many people that you could almost pick up your feet and get moved by the crowd!
In the moment, I was just determined to keep moving. I think that was my silent mantra much of the last year. But with every step I took forward, I kept experiencing so many rewards which encouraged me to take the next step. It wasn't until I had hindsight though that I was in awe of what I did.
I still vividly remember my first divorce support group the Sunday I got back from this trip. I think my Amtrak had arrived around lunchtime and my support group was that evening. As we always did, we each had a chance to update the group on the past week (or couple weeks in my case). As I retold each step of my journey - the train trip, my time in New York City, the cruise to Bermuda including a night boat excursion to the Bermuda Triangle, my time in DC, and then the train return trip, the eyes of the other women in my group grew so wide. They could not even contemplate what I had done completely on my own. Their reactions really took me aback.
What's next? What experiences will I boldly step into that will further transform me in ways that are fundamental? Looking forward I know it will take courage to move to a whole new city, assuming I can secure a job in Atlanta (or another city). I have a trip to Europe in a year and a half that I know will test me further. And I'm sure there will be other experiences that I can't even imagine right now. But I hope I never lose the awe I feel when I reflect on the ways life can transform and on the courage it takes to step into those transformative experiences.
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