Is his ghost at the beach?

I thought I had picked a beach location I had never been before.  I realize it’s hard to keep track because we always went wherever the hotel rates were cheapest which allowed us to experience a new part of the Gulf of Mexico each time.  But my memory isn’t that bad.  I thought I had a general sense of all the places I had been.

But last night as I drove the last couple blocks to my hotel, I passed the Fairfield Inn.  I could see us having breakfast in the front room near the entrance, the morning sunlight pouring in. And this morning, as I sit in the sand listening to the waves and watching the terns fish and the sanderlings scurry as the waves rush in, I can picture us standing on this very stretch of sand, the same condos in the distance, the state park behind us.

There may be a bit of his ghost here but it’s not really here because the thing about the shoreline, the beaches, the waves is that they are never the same.  You can’t put your feet in the same water twice.  The sand that you lay on is constantly shifting, eroding, being blown into the sea grass or being swallowed up by the sea itself.  So even if he was by my side, we wouldn’t be standing on the same sand and walking in the same water.

And like this beach, today we are definitely not the same people we were when we were here a little over two years ago.  So I’m going to sit on this empty section of the beach and enjoy the solitude that renews and restores me.  I’m going to breathe in the new-found energy and joy that this year has shown me.