So today it's notable that as I sit here and type my dream is still with me. My ex-husband and I had sit down together after some period of separation to talk about what we had learned and what went wrong. He seemed hesitant at first to start so I offered to go first but despite his initial hesitation he was anxious to talk.
He started talking about a conversation he had with his Dad about what his Dad had thought he should have done differently in his own relationships. His Dad told him that he wished he had valued what was in front of him. And then I woke up.
It got me wondering what his Dad would have said had he still been alive. Years later, my ex-husband told me he had never been close to his Dad which surprised me. So maybe he wouldn't have listened to anything his Dad would have said.
His Dad always came across as the level-headed, stable one of his parents. He was the one that saw the effect of his Wife's meddling on us and on his other son's family. And he tried to temper and counter it when he could, although never directly. I watched a lot of passive-aggressive behavior from him towards his wife. Maybe that's how he coped with her after so many decades together. Neither seemed happy together.
I believe his Dad really liked me. I believe he would have encouraged my ex-husband to work it out. But maybe he regretted his own marriage enough that he wouldn't have.
I wonder what role his Dad passing away played in our relationship and my ex-husband's decision to stay as long as he did.
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