This evening, Facebook reminded me of memories from years past from both Facebook and Instagram. I could turn off memories but I don't want to because so many of them are positive. Today's was harder though.
On this day one year ago, I embarked on a cruise with my ex-husband. We woke up at a hotel on the water and watched the sunrise. We paid the small specialty dining fee to have a quiet lunch at Johnny Rocket's on the ship with views of the harbor. I'm sure he made use of a drink ticket to get a milkshake. We enjoyed our first dinner at the perfect table for two in a quieter section of the dining room with an excellent waiter. And as the night came to a close, we walked the promenade where I had one last drink, a sangria as we walked past some of the music acts.
On that day, I had no clue what I would be facing in the months ahead. I thought we were happily married. His mind had to have already been headed for the exit though. How does someone pretend like that? It baffles me, just boggles my mind.
Over the next days, there will be a lot of memories - the walks on the beach including the day it rained in St. Croix, the off-roading dune buggy adventure that he always wanted to do, the spotting of the sister ship to the one we were supposed to be on together last September, the sunsets, the Brown Boobies that soared along side the ship, and then Gary the Grackle that rode on our hood through the Merritt Island Wildlife Refuge drive (we didn't know his name was Gary though at the time - I just learned that this year, I wish I could tell my ex-husband his name).
I'm going to focus on giving myself a lot of grace as I move through these next 10 days or so.
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