She writes:
Who we are is inseparable not only from who we think we are, but from who others think we are. We are touched and loved, we are appreciated or dismissed, praised or scorned, comforted or wounded. But before all else, we are seen. We are identified by others through the contours and colors and movements of our bodies.
I started to touch on this idea with my post yesterday about not recognizing myself and being fascinated about how others may view me but I hadn't taken the thought this far. As I have marinated on this thought over coffee and then as the water poured over me in the shower, I've realized how the relationships in our life are intertwined with who we are. And this isn't just about our romantic relationship - our friendships and relationships with family members play a role too. I suspect there is even a minor role in the random interactions we have with strangers throughout each day.
My reflections have led me to two takeaways that I think are important.
First, we have the power to uplift people through the way we treat them, view them, accept them, etc. We can either have a positive or a negative influence on someone. It's our choice to make and if we don't take the time to self-reflect, we can't be intentional in that choice. I want to intentionally uplift people, bring out their good qualities, and be that positive influence.
Second, we have the power to choose who we let into our close circle. We get to choose people who will uplift, look for our good, accept us, reflect back to us in ways that positively influence us, etc.
With all that said, I think we need to be careful to not let this blind us to the need for growth and improvement. None of this means, we shouldn't challenge each other to be better and to grow. I want people in my life who challenge me. But I want it to be done in a loving, uplifting way that is a positive influence.
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