I received some sports bras that I had ordered in the mail today so I tried one on and stepped in front of my bathroom mirror. The woman who looked back looked so foreign to me. And it wasn't just the shorter haircut or the weight I've lost. I've had months to get used to those.
It was the way she held herself and the way she looked back at me. She had a confidence in her and came across as no-nonsense. The self-consciousness I feel didn't come across at all. There was no indecisiveness apparent at all.
And there was something quieter, softer in the back of her eyes, maybe a wariness.
I wonder if it's just the fact that my self-concept hasn't caught up to the discovery and growth I have experienced over such a short time. Or maybe something still doesn't quite fit yet.
Sometimes my mind wanders to how others might see me - to how my subconscious and conscious self comes across to others. It's quite fascinating to think about the many different people we are to each of those we are close to and how those people differ from our own view of our self.
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