Yesterday, it was the parachute game at the brewery across the street. Many years ago, early in our marriage, we had gone home for a visit at a time when his Grandma was in a nursing home. We went to go see her and they had the parachute game on the schedule while we were there that my we thought his Grandma would enjoy (and I think was also some fond memory from his childhood) but the activity got cancelled.
Every time we saw the parachute game after that, he pointed it out and we remembered her. Although we didn't say out loud the part that bothered me most - despite his Grandma having all three of her children living within 30 minutes of the nursing home, no one had visited her since the last time we had been in town months prior. And no one had bothered to open the letter we had sent her. I know that bothered my ex, just as it bothered him that no one planned a funeral or memorial service for her when she eventually passed away. Maybe that's why he thought of her every time he saw a parachute.
Last week, it was the memory of the Grackle that perched on the hood of our car and squawked at us as we drove the Black Point Wildlife Drive. In recent months, I had discovered that the Grackle had quite a reputation and so had been named Gary and someone had even made stickers representing him. I wanted to share with my ex what I had since learned about this Grackle.
And maybe the answer is these moments never completely disappear, they probably just become fewer and far between. It's not like I can or even want to erase two decades of memories from my life.
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