"Oh Well"

I was telling my Mom about the text I received on his birthday from the dealership and how it made me feel and her response was "Oh well" before she changed the subject.  I think my Mom believes she is helping by encouraging me not to dwell on it plus I don't think she is all that comfortable with emotions in general.  But it came off as really dismissive.  I felt unheard.

But it was the next realization that bothered me more.  I had used those exact words on myself when I had been sharing this same story with a friend at work (shortly after I got the text).  And those words had been just as dismissive to myself.  With my friend, I followed it with a lighthearted, "it gives me something to blog about."  (In hindsight, that's actually a strange silver lining because the blog wouldn't exist if I hadn't experienced such loss and pain and I hope to someday soon to turn the last page on this divorce chapter in my life.)  

The phrase "oh well" is a regular part of my vocabulary.  And I can hear those words so clearly coming frequently from my Mom and I even hear my maternal Grandma's voice in my head saying those words, although I don't recall those specific circumstances.  

It is so ingrained in me to keep moving forward and not waste too much energy on my own emotions.  Honestly, it has served me well in learning how to pick myself back up.  But at what expense?  How often have I dismissed or minimized what I was feeling?  How much has that interfered with trusting my gut or advocating for myself?

And how much of my feelings of being unheard stem from not even listening to myself?