I put on a sparkly red dress that made me feel beautiful. The weather was so mild, I left my legs bare and left my jacket behind. This afternoon, I walked over to the Greek restaurant next door for chocolate cake and wine before they closed early. This evening I walked to church for one last choir rehearsal before this evening's candlelight service that was such a magical, beautiful experience. The smiles, the songs, the hugs, the greetings, the message - they all filled me with so much love.
And then as I walked home, I reflected on the experience tonight compared to the experiences I've been reading about in my journal from over twenty years ago. That was a time I was struggling so much with gender expression and sexual orientation and those struggles collided with the beliefs of the church, so much of society, and even many in my family. I remember the lack of welcome from the youth group, the more open conversations with my Pastor as a teen, the day I washed the ash cross off my forehead and completely walked away from the protestant church, the religious potential roommate who refused to room with me because her faith didn't believe in gays, the family members that ridiculed and harassed me, etc.
And then I looked down at my bare, hairy legs proudly displayed in my knee length red dress and how not a single person hesitated to greet or hug me. They didn't care how I expressed my gender. They cared about who I am as a person. And I replayed the words in my head of my pastor who emphasized that ALL are welcome and that ALL are loved without conditions. And I smiled at the talent of my openly gay choir director and at the diversity I witnessed in the pews.
So much of the world may be regressing back to so much of the views from over twenty years ago but there are places like this that welcome me with open arms. And I'm so grateful I found one of them.
Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays! However you celebrate, may you find love there.
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