I walked into the wine bar about an hour or so ago. I’m sipping wine and taking my time. I’m on no schedule but my own. No one is looking at me irritated that I ordered another glass. I’m enjoying this slow pace.
I’ve actually interacted with the bartender, something I wouldn’t have had the energy for before. The basket of sesame sticks are all mine!
I’ve upgraded on every glass of wine, including a splurge of Vueve Cliquot without worrying about what he would have thought about the cost. I’m finding I actually am spending more on experiences, food, and drink than we ever would have. That is what I am enjoying.
As I sit here, I get to people watch and get lost in my own thoughts. My world is smaller on the ship when I’m alone. I don’t feel a need to try the water slides, check out the arcade, explore every deck, etc. I had that experience on the Joy last year as well. As I stood in line to disembark that cruise, I realized I was walking through spaces I had never stepped foot in during the cruise.
Sometimes I wonder if I have become too comfortable in my own presence but I’m just enjoying this so much. Maybe I need this time to let the pendulum swing the other way, in my favor for a bit before I find the right balance. Maybe it’s finding the security on my own that will help me see with clarity any potential relationship (platonic or romantic). Maybe it will give me discernment to focus only on those relationships that add value.
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