I set my alarm for 4:45 a.m. this morning so that if the weather looked okay in the morning I would be ready to leave by 5:30 a.m. Yes, most people would consider that insanely early. But this is my favorite time of day - the quiet before the sun rises. Over the past nine months, I have spent countless Saturdays watching the sun rise from my car after a good hour or more of driving and this morning was no different.
I have found a peace to the miles of road I have traveled. There has been a sense of freedom in exploring the never-ending number of new places it will take me along with my old favorites like today's garden, a place I visit frequently. And it has given me so much time to just be, just exist in this world.
So this morning, I drove the 2.5 hours to the garden, scanned my parking pass, backed into my favorite spot to charge my car, and joined the line of people waiting for the gardens to open. And then I wandered at my own pace, unencumbered by the needs of anyone else. I sat with the tulips. I breathed in the fragrant hyacinths. I re-traced my steps to my favorite flowers. And I took so many photos that later I poured over and spent some time editing. And when I was done wandering, I returned to my car and made the return 2.5 hour journey home.
This is one of the ways I pour into myself. It's not something new though. Gardens have been a nourishing place for me for years. Sometimes my ex-husband would tag along, sometimes not. I always preferred when he didn't because if he was there, I was always worrying about whether I was spending too much time with a particular flower. With him, I never stayed as long, never paused and sat as often, never retraced my steps to the best parts.
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