The gray area between the black and white

I work with someone who has been very vocal about her support of this administration and can't seem to see the destruction and damage the administration is doing.  In addition to the damage to our government and the economy, this is an administration that is attacking the humanity of so many non-straight, white male groups.  The division this has created is immense and seems insurmountable.  

Yet, yesterday, she and another colleague who I also think generally supports this administration were the ones to take the time to clean out a colleagues belongings left at the office since she has been sick, deliver them to her, and visit with her.  No one else volunteered to do that great kindness.

It was a really good reminder of the complexities of people and the importance of recognizing the gray in a world that too often seems black and white.

I was talking to a friend at work about this yesterday and she pointed out the way I see the gray in the end of my relationship with my now ex-husband.  My therapist touched on this last night as well as we talked more about the spectrum that life falls on and the ability to hold two truths at once.

The way my ex-husband discarded me was a pretty horrible way to handle things.  But it doesn't negate the good life we lived together.  It doesn't negate the many good memories we made.  And even when I think about how it all ended, I can acknowledge the challenges he faced that seem to stem back to his childhood and feel empathy for his struggles at the same time I recognize he had a responsibility as an adult to do the work to overcome those challenges so he didn't cause harm to others.

And then when I look at myself and what I have been through, I can fully grieve the pain and acknowledge how unfair it was to me while at the same time marvel at the growth I have experienced and all I have learned because of the pain.  This divorce doesn't have to be all bad or all good for me.  It can be both.  It can represent my darkest days and my capacity for tapping into my greatest joys even on those darkest days.