Sunday, March 23, 2025

Dating

I wish I had a close girl friend who I could share everything with.  The friend I feel most comfortable with is too busy and dealing with so many of her own challenges.  And the rest are too new to have that comfort level with yet and may not even turn out to be people I want to be close to.  (I'm feeling a bit of that with one right now.)

So I'm left to deal with so many of my thoughts alone and talking about dating is one of those things.  So here I am typing out things in a public blog (that really no one reads) that I have yet to say out loud.  

I don't have any interest in dating or so I keep telling myself.  The thought of starting over with someone new after two decades is incredibly intimidating and doesn't seem worth the risk.  I wasn't all that into dating when I was young.  It was just one of those things that happened by chance a couple of times before I met my now ex-husband.  I wasn't looking for someone.  I didn't have dreams of marriage or a family or anything like that.

It probably doesn't help that I initially joined a Facebook group where women warn other women about men who are unsafe.  (I've since unfollowed that group.)

It also doesn't help how many divorced women I speak to of my age and older who have given up on the dating scene because of the lack of quality single men.

And it doesn't help that my ex-husband seemed like one of the good guys.  My journal entries don't show any concerning behaviors from him until after I had proposed and we had moved in together and even those concerning behaviors seemed minor enough to be easily dismissed especially early in a romance.  So there is a fear that I could fall for another person who puts on a good show in the beginning that doesn't last.

So my focus since the separation has been on me and building a life that I could be happy with as a solo person.

So I'm a bit taken aback by my first crush.  I really don't think I'm ready to date again.  And I'm not sure this is even a man I want to date for reasons I won't get into in this blog.  So I don't know what to do with these feelings.  But if I told you my heart didn't skip a beat when I just watched him walk from the business across the street to his car that was parked outside my window just now, I would be lying.

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