Today took a twist I didn't expect. About a year and a half ago, my employer decided not to fill a job I had applied to and interviewed for - it was a job that I have been doing in addition to my other duties since December of 2022. It would have been a promotion. And then with the current political climate, we have been on a hiring freeze that I expected could last years, at least in any form that would get them to consider posting that position again.
In the meantime, I've been watching which offices have lost employees in this position across the country. I'm on a listserv that gets smaller and smaller with each quarterly update.
So this morning, I was surprised to see an e-mail about two job postings a little beyond what I am qualified for on the east coast. Wondering how they were getting around the hiring freeze, I pulled up the job search site to see if there were any other postings - and there was one other posting - the exact job I want, in Atlanta, a city I have actually dreamed of living in.
My gut says that I will regret it if I don't apply but oh is it terrifying to think about relocating to another state completely my own. This would be a true fresh start after the divorce. There would be no chance encounters with my ex-husband. The places we made memories together would be left behind, mostly - I still see him on one or two of the benches at the Atlanta Botanical Garden each time I visit.
It would also be starting over in building a community, starting over in a new work environment with new colleagues, a new place to live, a new neighborhood to learn, etc.
The divorce forced me to completely rethink my entire future, sending me down a path I could never have imagined. This feels like an even further deviation from that all and maybe that is part of why it feels so overwhelming.
I did this several times with my ex-husband over the years. I was reminded today that to just pick up and move across the country like we did when we moved south is not something the average person does. It's something that takes a lot of courage.
Do I have the courage within me to do this alone?
Something inside of me tells me a fresh start like this, a further deviation from my initial plans for life, could be exactly what I need. Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself though. A job application does not automatically result in a job offer.
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