Today’s Facebook memory includes a selfie of the two of us at sunset two years ago. It was a breathtaking sunset but what stands out most to me is the disinterested or detached (maybe even a bit sad) look on my ex-husband’s face that I’m realizing is present in almost all of the photos that come up in my memories (which generally cover just the last four years). In these memories, I have yet to see any joy reflected on his face. Even the photos from the jeep tour we took at the ranch in Hawaii where Jurassic Park (his all-time favorite movie) was filmed are lacking that joy and have that detached look.
I think this is what happens when you don’t invest in your life, your self, your relationships, your passions, etc. When you just sit back and let life happen to you, instead of building the life you want. You become detached from the outcome, the process, and the journey. It makes it easier to blame the world and forget to look inward. And in the end, you are just miserable because the world didn’t read your mind and thus nothing went the way you silently hoped it would.
Let that be my reminder and my momentum forward. It’s up to me to make my life what I want it to be. It’s up to me to invest in myself and in the relationships that are important to me.
That doesn’t mean it will always be easy. Sometimes it will be quite scary or overwhelming. But the consequences of not doing it are significant and the rewards of doing it are so great.
Next on my plate-I’m working up the courage to go to a country line dancing and social swing dancing class at a local brewery. I was completely on board with the line dancing part but swing dancing with a stranger terrifies me even as I recognize it might be a ton of fun.
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