I haven’t left him yet (in an emotional sense)

I admitted to a friend at work that as illogical as it sounds, I feel like I’m leaving him if I pursue this job opportunity.  Her response was “because you haven’t left him yet.”  

I moved to this city with him. I initially picked this apartment complex with him.  I’m still in many ways living the life I built with him.  That’s not to say I haven’t grown and evolved and started to forge new paths, it’s just still been within the overall outline of the life I created with him.

Any big decisions I’ve made since the separation were reactions to his decisions.  They were a response to him leaving me.  This would be the first big stand-alone decision that I make solely for myself.  It’s no longer even peripherally about him.