Finally seeing all the red flags I ignored, things I had enough self-awareness about to write in my journal, I feel like such a fool. Thinking about all the ways I excused his behavior last year and still had good regards for him as I talked about what was happening to me, I feel like such a fool. Remembering all the ways I bent over backwards to accommodate his Mom, I feel like such a fool.
Rationally, I realize I was young and inexperienced and I realize I was up against some pretty strong manipulation. What happened to me has happened to so many other women (in many variations) and will continue happening to women. Rationally, there is no reason I should feel like a fool. He should be the one feeling like a fool. But realizing all of that doesn't take away the feeling.
I'll work through this though. I'll learn from this.
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