I did something today that a year ago I could not even imagine myself ever doing or even being interested in doing. I tapped into a piece of me that I don't think I ever knew existed.
I got up on a stage and performed Improv Comedy.
I'm going to let that sentence stand alone because the magnitude of that accomplishment blows me away. I don't even know how to describe the feelings running through me.
Sometime late last year, I stumbled across the education tab on the website for the theater just a few blocks from my home. I paused on the Improv class listing. It was a listing for the fall session that was already in session but I could see that it was a class that repeated with each session. Something kept bringing me back to that page. I'm an introvert. I don't get up on stage, or so I thought but I was drawn to it.
Then I spoke out loud my interest to a colleague and then a friend. The more I spoke about it, the more I knew I had to sign up. So in January, after a 13 week session Improv class was released, I paid the money and signed up. I remember the e-mail I received the week before it started asking students to wear closed-toed shoes which had me really wondering what I had gotten myself into!
Then for 13 Mondays in a row, I showed up, signed in, and let go of my self-consciousness as I learned the building blocks of Improv and participated in some crazy exercises to eventually get us ready for our showcase today. I had a few weeks where amazing things came out of my mouth resulting in laughs and positive reinforcement from my classmates and I had many other weeks where my scenes felt flat or awkward. But I kept showing up. I kept stepping up for scenes. I kept putting myself out there.
I don't think I'm a natural but my goal wasn't ever to become a seasoned performer. My goal was to prove to myself what I could. It was to push myself. It was to help me listen and communicate better. It was to get me out of my head and feel less self-conscious. It was to feel alive. And I accomplished all of that and more.
And tonight, I got to show a couple of my colleagues and someone from my church what I could do. (I feel so much gratitude that they wanted to show up and support me.) I had a pretty good scene about popcorn. I was on a date at the theater and my date handed me popcorn. I confirmed with him this was popcorn he had swept up off the floor so it would have extra protein! He expressed amazement that he had found a date who accepted how cheap he was.
And then there was another scene where I was an expert in deep sea diving answering questions as part of a panel. And I remember another where I was auditioning for Wicked and asked to sing my audition song - I squawked or squealed more than I sung which was what got me the part! I can still hear the laughter from the audience.
So as I sit here reflecting as the adrenaline finishes running through me, I am amazed.
And I'm a little sad that this me couldn't have been a part of my marriage - it's a little ironic the marriage held me back from being a person he would have really enjoyed. But that's his loss and my gain - there's no better time than the present step bolding into this new me, in whatever shape it eventually takes.
Tonight, I got up on a stage and performed Improv Comedy.
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