Did I lose myself in the relationship?

I am a strong woman who generally knows what she wants.  I'm ambitious in the areas I want to be but know how to slow down to find balance.  So as this relationship ended, the last thing I wanted to believe was that I had lost my sense of self in a man.

But as I reflected the new experiences I was seeking out and the different decisions I was making for this next chapter of my life conflicted a bit with that belief that I hadn't lost my sense of self and it's been bothering me.  So did I lose my sense of self?

I don't think so but I say that with a bit of a qualifier.  I believe this relationship restricted the ways I could grow.

My husband wasn't necessarily controlling and he didn't limit my career path or even step in the way of important goals.  But in many small ways, he had a particular idea of how we should face the world as a couple.  And I generally bought into that vision.  And that vision limited the many small ways I think I otherwise would have grown and directions I would have gone.

So now as I am completely freed from that vision, my eyes are looking farther and bigger.  I'm exploring ways I want to do life differently.  And I'm putting myself out there in ways I never would have imagined to see what sticks.  

So although I don't think I lost the sense of self I had, I was limited in the ways my sense of self could grow.  

And maybe a bit ironically, I think my husband's vision restricted his own growth of a sense of self (and still appears to even as we separate).