As I moved out over the last week and finished cleaning the apartment with him yesterday, there were so many times my husband expressed surprise over how I planned to do things on my own. He couldn't comprehend why I wasn't taking a TV. He didn't understand why I wouldn't want half the liquid hand soap (I prefer bars of soap). No matter how much he insisted, no, I did not really want the board games. Yes, I do actually think I will use the fan that has sat motionless in a corner for as long as I can remember - I actually plan to open the windows. No, I don't ever plan to buy broccoli and cauliflower - that was most of what we ate for veggies and I am not particularly fond of either. And you should have seen the outrage on his face when I said I probably wouldn't shop at Aldi anymore.
These all seemed like minor accommodations at the time but I'm learning that they all didn't have a minor impact on me. I think the TV constantly on was the biggest one. And there were times in our marriage where I tried to encourage him to turn it off when he wasn't specifically watching something and he would try do that for a while before he reverted back to having it on constantly. The real consequence of that to me was not only a lack of peace and quiet but I also stopped reading. It's hard to read with the noise.
At one point I asked him what he would do differently with me not around and he didn't have an answer. I'm sure he will watch a few more horror movies but I'm not aware of other ways he compromised and accommodated me. Maybe this is just one more example of how the relationship was unbalanced.
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