I put on one of my favorite dresses this morning and looked in the mirror. I look like I'm swimming in the dress. And so I sit here drinking my coffee with tears running down my cheeks. Sure, I could afford to lose some weight but this is not how I wanted to lose it.
When I stepped on the scale yesterday morning I was down 18 pounds from when this all started. About 7 of those are just from the last 3 weeks. Getting myself to eat is a struggle although the nausea has subsided some in the last couple days which helps.
On the outside I seem to be coping so well. I still have my share of meltdowns but I pick myself up from them with strength. I find ways to smile every day. I still like myself. Considering everything, I am amazed in myself.
But my body has other ideas. My sleep is still a struggle although I did sleep better last night. And my appetite and weight loss is concerning. My chronic pain still flares regularly. It makes me wonder how much anxiety I can hide in my body without my mind noticing. And then I wonder how much underlying anxiety has been there for years.
No comments:
Post a Comment