I've joined a Facebook group for women over 40 facing separation, divorce, etc. I've talked to colleagues and friends who have been through divorce themselves. What I'm learning is that no two journeys are the same and there is a lot of danger in trying to compare yours to others'.
This is a time where I am finding the most value in looking inward, not outward. It's a chance to reflect on my life, my goals, and even the fundamentals of who I am. It's a chance to really get to know myself and focus on loving the person that I am and the person I will continue to evolve into.
And part of that inward work is focusing on what I need to heal. None of that relates to relationships other people have had with their ex-spouses or things other people may have experienced.
On multiple occasions, I have been really tempted to leave the Facebook group but then there is a nugget of a helpful conversation so I don't but I think at some point the negative of hearing so many others' experiences will outweigh the positive little nuggets I get. I do scroll past posts a lot faster than I did in those first days.
That's not to say others don't get benefit from groups like this. I just think it's important to be careful you don't fall into a comparison trap.
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