Making plans

With divorce comes so much loss that goes beyond just the relationship.  There is a loss of a standard of living, a loss of future plans, a re-thinking of future goals, even some loss of self.  For me, part of the healing process is starting to think about new future plans and goals to replace what was lost.

So this week that has come in the form of dreaming about my new apartment, how I want to set it up, and what I need to take with me and buy to make it feel like home.  

It has also come in the form of making new vacation plans.  We had trips planned all the way out until 2026.  Two were paid in full and non-refundable so we each are taking one of those but most of the rest will just get cancelled.  

In their place though, I'm coming up with some exciting ways to spend my time.  I'm going to join my parents on a trip later this year and so this week booked some hotels for the travel to and from that trip.  I also have some final details to figure out with the one trip we had already planned that I will get to take. 

And I'm thinking through how to re-imagine one of the trips next year that I can't fully cancel because it includes my family (nor do I want to cancel) but I also can't stick with our exact original plans for the trip for several reasons.  This one is a little bit more challenging to think through for two reasons, one financial and the other emotional.  No matter what I do, it will stretch my budget a bit.  And it will be on the ship where we were married in the month when we would have celebrated our 20th anniversary.  But I am confident that I can make it work in a way that I can afford and that continues my healing journey.

So today's lesson has been in making new plans to turn my focus on a bright future.