A dream where time overlapped

I had a dream last night.  The dream started with me wondering what he had done with our large wedding photo that used to hang on our wall.  Then I saw myself in a room with the photo and I believe with him.  I was crying and angry as I pointed at the photo, I asked why he had made those vows if he had no intention of investing in our relationship or choosing me.  I asked why he had committed to a relationship he wasn't willing to put the effort into.

In this dream, the me of today was watching this as an outsider from a distance.  I could sense the desperation and despair in the version of me asking those questions but I didn't feel the pain myself today.  There was distance between the me of today and that version of me.  I woke up feeling detached from what I had seen.

I'm not sure if he was even truly present or if he was just an illusion.  I sensed him but I'm not sure I actually saw him and I never saw any sort of response or reaction from him.  I think the me of then believed he was there and the me of today believes the feeling of his presence was just an illusion.

This morning as I reflect on this dream, my mind is pulled many directions.  In some ways it feels like a flashback to those early days when I was desperate for answers as to how he could do this to me.  In other ways, his lack of any real presence in the dream makes me wonder if these questions were more directed at myself and why I made vows to him knowing he would never fully choose me.  And yet, the feeling of distance in it all makes me wonder if the answers really matter anymore.

It feels like the me of a year ago got to sit in a room with the me of today.  Imagine if this were a memory of future me sitting with the then present me to help her through last fall.  I don't know what to believe about the idea that time could overlap but I do know that I found an extraordinary amount of strength last year and it's comforting to imagine a future me guiding me through it all.