Saturday, July 5, 2025

Are we dating the same guy?

There are Facebook groups specifically for women to warn each other about abusive and dangerous men.  I learned about the local one through a woman at my divorce support group last fall and so joined out of curiosity.  I quickly got sick of all the posts and have some mixed feelings about the group so removed it from my feed but every once in a while I get curious and click on the group.

With my ex-husband recently unfollowing me on IG, I think I was curious if he had surfaced in that group and he did last week.  No one replied to the post because I doubt anyone but myself really has any experience with him, at least yet.  I suspect this means he joined a dating app and has matched with at least one person.  This could explain the recent unfollow.

For a moment I felt a pit in my stomach but it quickly passed as I asked myself why my gut was reacting.  I couldn't find a good reason.  I don't want him.  I can't even imagine a future with him anymore.  Besides the fact that there is no sign he has done any work on himself, too much damage has been done.

I won't exactly feel bad if he finds himself in for a rude awakening of what the dating world is like now and likely gets his heart broken a time or two.  And now in his 40s, the women he may date have no excuse for being as naive as I might have been in my early twenties (and maybe I didn't have an excuse then either) and anyone who has a healthy approach to relationships isn't going to miss or ignore the signs I did.

And I'm not surprised.  The way he talked about what he wanted as we were breaking up, it was clear he thought the grass was greener elsewhere and was anxious to check it out.  I don't think he truly knows how to be alone and so I expected him to do everything he could to find another woman.  So I say, "good luck to him in finding a woman that will only share his interests and have none of her own, never question him, validate and agree with his every complaint, be willing to plan his social life for him, and accept that his mom and cars will always be a higher priority."

No comments:

Post a Comment

Is my memory that bad? No.

So as I stood in the shower this morning, I wondered to myself whether I just had a bad memory or had blocked out whole years of my life or ...