Turning it off like a faucet

It feels so foreign how my marriage seemed to get turned off like a faucet, no gradual decline, just a switch where in one moment it felt good and in the next it was gone.   One day we were exchanging "I love you"s, "Good morning"s and "Good night"s and the next day nothing.  I am struggling with that all or nothing pivot.  And I'm struggling to make sense from his end.  Was there a gradual decline for him and he kept up all the words and actions to try and convince himself otherwise?  Or because he selfishly feared my response to the truth?  Is he feeling any of the same whiplash I am feeling?  Even if he was pretending for some time, it still is a pretty stark switch.

Or was he never really all that invested and just going through the motions?  Or maybe he has just been floating through life in general without purpose or intention such that he wasn't so invested in anything.

I've always known my husband struggled more in life than I did and he never got the amazing help I got from a therapist when we were still living in the midwest.  He struggled with communication.  He struggled with dealing with conflict.  I knew he had some struggles with self-worth.  Much of it stemmed from his childhood.  Honestly, it's such a common story.  I suspect we all walk away from childhood with wounds to some degree that we need to work through as adults.  And I knew he hadn't done the work to deal with those wounds although I did see some growth in how he related to his mom (which didn't please her and I got the blame for - she wanted to keep him in unhealthy dynamics).

But I never expected him to put the blame for all that on our marriage, on me.  I never expected him to walk away from the one relationship where he actually had support and acceptance.

I wonder how his visit with his mom is going.  I wonder if he thinks of me at all or if he has found a way to turn it off completely.  Avoidance is his strong suit.