I have always had a bit of fear of walking over a grate and so avoided them whenever possible. My husband generally humored me but I always wondered if he just found me a bit silly.
Upon arriving in New York City last week, I was confronted with grates everywhere. With a subway system under the city, they just can't easily be avoided. So I thought to myself "what I am really fearing here?" And I started thinking about fears of the uncertainty of my future as the only life I know has been shattered.
Why do we let fear get in our way of living? Fear doesn't stop the future from coming. It just stops us from being able to truly live and be present in that future.
So I vowed to stop avoiding grates. And with each grate I encountered and boldly walked over, my fearlessness started to rise. Not at all unlike the experience I have been having in putting myself out there socially. With each experience and connection I make, I feel just a bit more fearless.
Maybe the key to not only surviving this but thriving from this is to keep facing my fears and moving through them.
So now that I am in Washington DC which also isn't lacking in grates, I now fearlessly cross each grate I encounter.
When this process is over, I'm not sure I'm going to recognize myself - I already feel quite a bit foreign when I look in the mirror. I'm not sure my soon-to-be ex-husband would recognize me either.
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