In a group meeting last night someone commented that I’m in a dark space right now. I was a bit taken aback as I had not yet looked at these past months that way. To be honest I didn’t quite know if it was true but I think I nodded. Since that comment though, that phrase has stuck with me. It doesn’t feel right. It feels too black and white like it misses the complexity of what I’m going through, the complexity of emotions, the growth, the contradictions, etc.
I’m definitely moving in and out of dark moments. The lows are very low. But I’m not stuck there. I don’t like labeling an entire season of my life negatively when it also contains plenty of good. The label doesn’t feel like it fits and it feels like it comes with expectations that aren’t right for me.
So no, I’m not in a dark place. I’m in a period of challenges and growth. I’m falling in low moments as I experience darkness and then picking myself up to find joy. I’m moving through moments of darkness towards the light of healing, growth, and a better, more fulfilling life. And that cycle of darkness and light is ever-repeating just as the sun rises and falls every day.
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