Lessons from my first solo trip as a single person

I am in the last few hours of my train ride home after being gone the last 12 days of traveling.  I visited New York City, took a cruise to Bermuda, and visited Washington DC plus had hours of time to think on the train rides and the sea days out to Bermuda.  To be honest, every day of this divorce journey process seems transformative but that feels to be even more true of this trip.  Let me share some of the lessons I learned.

You have to sit with the uncomfortable feelings long enough so they no longer have as much power.  Unplugging on the sea days with no connection to the outside world was so hard.  I was lonely.  I felt isolated.  Such a variety of emotions flooded over me that it was overwhelming at times.  But I think not having many internet minutes was a blessing in disguise because it forced me to sit with those feelings.  I think by the end of the last sea day, they were starting to hold just a little less power, although I still have a ways to go on this.

Nature and connections heal us.  The more you can slow down and connect with the world around you, the better you can gain perspective and find some healing.  I spent so much time on this trip writing and reflecting.  And I used art, sunrises and sunsets, the motion of the train, flowers, the waves, etc. all as inspiration to mediate on, reflect on, find symbolism in, and write about.  I think this was the most important thing I did all trip.  So take the time to stop, be fully present, find a comfortable park bench or chair, and really connect with something around you that speaks to you.

I need to reassess my relationship with my phone and social media.  It is getting in the way of focusing on the things that would be so much better for me, like reading more and focusing on the world around me more.

Face your fears.  I'm a 42 year old woman who has never lived alone before.  I don't honestly know how to live a single life.  I mean I understand all the practical aspects of it.  I get the responsibility.  But having the emotional tools to find happiness in that is completely foreign to me as is depending on a larger social network.  So this is all really scary.  I'm finding though that my fears get a little smaller each time I face them.  So I'm actively putting myself out there to do things (both small and big) that scare me a bit to lessen those fears.  This trip I explored a foreign country completely on my own - navigating a ferry system, figuring out where I wanted to go, interacting with locals, etc.  And the small fear I faced was walking over grates (as you saw in my last post).

A solo trip is your chance to try new things and learn what you like and what you don't like.  I leaned into art far more than I have in the past and really enjoyed that.  I need to lean more into that interest.  And I confirmed that photographing flowers really is a happy place for me.  That is an interest I don't want to let go of.  On the other end of the spectrum, I'm not sure how much I like solo cruising, at least at this stage in my journey.  Maybe someday that will change again, but right now I'm going to stick to either cruising with other people or finding other ways to travel.  

I'm sure these aren't the only things that I'm taking with me from this trip but I thought I would share some of my initial thoughts and reflections.