Thursday, October 3, 2024

I took my ring off on Monday

After I signed the divorce documents, I knew I had to get out and walk to clear my mind so I headed to the local park.  As I walked, I realized that now felt like the time to take off my ring.  It felt like an important part of letting him go.  So I eyed up the bench I had claimed as my therapy bench which unfortunately was occupied so I made a few laps as I knew the walking would be good for me too.  Then I sat down on a bench with a sightline of my bench.  

I debated how long I should wait to see if they vacate my bench and whether it would feel right to use a substitute bench for something that felt so momentous.  Fortunately, before I could answer those questions, the couple on the bench moved on so I claimed my space.

The sun was getting close to the horizon behind the clouds.  The two ducks could be seen on the other side of the pond. There was a man who had set up a canvas propped up by his skateboard that was working on a portrait of someone.  The temperatures were comfortable - I hadn't changed out of my work pants and blouse.  And in that moment as I sat crossed legged on the bench, I took the ring off and set it on my knee and took some time to just exist in that space, mindset, and finality of the chapter.

Surprisingly no tears came.  I don't even know how to describe the complex feelings inside of me.

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