Traveling Solo

My cell phone functions as a camera
and nothing much more.
The airplane symbol displays.
I am far, far out at sea.
Nothing can be seen on the horizon.
The solitude threatens to overwhelm.

My body rolls and sways
as the waves push against the ship.
Ship technology a moderating influence
still leaves it at the mercy
of the moods of the ocean,
as I am to life’s uncertainties.

One last coup of coffee in my hands,
I stare out at the deep blue sea.
I surrender to the motion,
acknowledging that which I cannot see
far beyond the visible horizon.
I breathe in and out.


I’m traveling solo for the first time since the separation. This solo trip is quite different than past ones where I was still in constant contact with my husband and could still share the experience with him virtually. He was always a text or phone call away. This time it truly is just me. Maybe some day that will feel freeing. There are some great advantages to traveling solo. But right now it just feels isolating. And maybe a cruise to such an isolated, far away island, Bermuda with very limited internet wasn’t a best first choice. Or maybe forcing me to face the solitude is exactly what I need right now in my healing journey despite how incredibly hard it is.