This milestone feels different

One year ago today, I picked up the keys to this studio apartment I sit in as I sip my early morning coffee.  This space has become home.

Previous milestones have been a source of grief.  Just two months ago, I was feeling a major setback as it reached a year from when he told me it was over.  There have been countless other setbacks over the past year that came with upsetting reminders of what had been happening a year prior.

But today I just feel peace.

This is the first milestone where my initial reaction is celebration not sadness.  

Yesterday, I was reminded of the amazing community I have built that fills me with so much gratitude.  I poked my head into the offices of two of the women that were part of my weekend a year ago - one who helped me physically move everything and another who was part of a small group that took me out to dinner that Saturday evening.  Their excitement for me felt so supportive.

And then one suggested we go out to dinner this weekend to celebrate.  Another woman across the hall from my office expressed interest in joining us.  I poked my head in the office of a third woman I had been getting to know and invited her and although she needs to check her schedule she expressed interest in coming.  And then I sent two texts to women who we had all previously worked with but who had left.  One responded immediately excited to go.  The other is trying to make her schedule work because she really wants to come.  

That's five women who want to spend a Sunday evening with me and are trying to make their schedules work to do so!  And these are all amazing women.  

I think back to the old me, the one whose social circle primarily consisted of just her husband.  People at work didn't know me all that well.  My connections at church were pretty superficial.  My one real friend was half of a couple's friend.  I rarely went out.  Sitting at a table with a group of six would have overwhelmed me.  And I definitely wasn't organizing gatherings.  I didn't even have many people in my phone contacts that I could call on.

And so I sit here in awe at the transformation that happened over the past year.  I am in awe of the women who have stepped up when I needed community.  And I am in awe of myself for the way I put myself out there to find my people.  And maybe that is what makes this milestone feel like something really worth celebrating.