Understanding Loneliness
Dauphin Island
sand stuck to my skin
the sun scorches
laughing gulls highlight the silence
In loneliness I found presence
3 AM
sheets tangled as I toss
the other side cold and empty
exhaustion finally conquers
In loneliness I found rest
A Cruise Ship Balcony
wrapped in my grandma’s quilt
my gaze is lost in the horizon
hours feel like days
In loneliness I found peace
A Car Wash
neutral, dig through the menu, fold the mirrors
panic bubbles up
as the first wheels catch
In loneliness I found confidence
An Evening at Home
the hum of the fridge
the disruption of a train
I sink into my favorite chair with a view
In loneliness I found me
A Morning at My Kitchen Table
a year has passed
my mind wanders to the time before
I now see what I couldn’t see then
In loneliness alone I saw deeper loneliness with him
An Evening on the Couch
he sat in his recliner nearby
I got lost in the noise of YouTube
so I scrolled and scrolled and scrolled
In loneliness I disappeared
3 AM
I wake from a nightmare
the room is dark, his breathing heavy
I wipe my own tears and try to sleep again
In loneliness I endured
A Ride in the Car
aggression spilled out over a perceived offense
as he looked to me to agree with his actions
I kept my eyes down on my phone
In loneliness I feared
A Walk Through the Garden
he insisted on coming
yet waited impatiently on the bench
rushed, I photographed and move on
In loneliness I was unconsidered
A Sunrise at Sea
colors danced before a world at sleep
in awe, I turned to him to share the wonder
yet even in the rare times he was physically there, his stare was blank
In loneliness my joy was empty
A Morning at My Kitchen Table
a year has passed
even in my loneliest moments as a single
I am not truly lonely
My carefree joy has overcome
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