Dark-eyed Juncos

Years ago we owned a house in Brookfield, Wisconsin on a very small lot that was incredibly secluded because of the density of trees that surrounded it.  We put up bird feeders, even asking my Dad to build us a large platform one for the larger or more social birds.  And then we put a large piece of paper on the fridge with room to write the bird species we observed down the first column and boxes to check off which months they appeared across each row.

That first October (probably 15 years ago) we were tracking birds, the sunlight hit just right as a new to us species arrived in our yard.  A hint of blue reflected off its dark back.  The inexperienced birder in me jumped to conclusions based on the size and that reflected blue color and marked it down as an Indigo Bunting in its non-breeding plumage.  I was so excited to have such a beautiful bird visit my yard.

That first year, they (a small flock of what I had labeled Indigo Buntings) kept to the ground so I never really got a good look at them.  And then they moved on, migrating.

I watched closely that next October.  I couldn't wait for the return of what I thought were Indigo Buntings.  And they arrived right on schedule except the light didn't hit them the same that October.  They were just a charcoal gray, still a beautiful color but not the flecks of blue I remembered from the year before.  

By this time, I had a year of birding experience under my belt so I looked a little closer and I checked my birding apps for more clues.  And in doing so, I discovered they were actually Dark-eyed Juncos which honestly made a whole lot more sense.  Indigo Buntings don't winter in Wisconsin.  There is no reason they would have showed up in October and hung around.  The beak wasn't right either.  It was an amateur mistake in misidentifying them based on a first impression in just the right lighting.

They returned every year.  And each year they got a little more comfortable in my yard and eventually started spending time on my platform feeder so I got to observe them even more.  They are a bird I look for every winter as they fly south from northern Canada, even though it takes a bit more effort to find them now that I don't have a backyard where they naturally congregate.  But to this day, I always remember them first as an Indigo Bunting.  It's hard to undo my impressions of this adorable little bird from my first winter getting to know them.

Maybe that's why it is so hard to undo my impressions of my ex-husband from our first year together when he showed up and presented himself as such an amazing person from an amazing family.