A trip to Birmingham

I drove to Birmingham and back today.  It was the first time I did this trip in reverse.  It was weird heading west in the morning with the sun behind me instead of watching it rise in front of me.  And I was unsure of what to expect of my feelings.  I was returning to a place that had once been my home, my landing space to heal and process after the abrupt end to my marriage.  But it was no longer my home.

When I arrived it felt like time had stood still.  Four full weeks had passed and nothing had changed despite the fact that I felt like a different person.  I paused at the EV charger parking spots to find them all full, only one car actually plugged in, one full unit off, likely from a blown circuit because someone didn't adjust the volts when they plugged in.  As I made my way up to the fifth level of the parking garage, I passed the pile of ashes in the parking spots blocked with caution tape from the cars that had burned six weeks ago.  

A train passed on the tracks as I parked.  Believe it or not, I had actually forgotten about the trains.

I made my way to my old apartment and unlocked the door.  The chaos of my last moments before heading off to Atlanta to start my new chapter met my eyes as I took it all in.  I didn't know where to start so I set my stuff down and walked back out the door, locking it behind me.

I made my way to Railroad Park.  I wondered if the people I passed every day had noticed my absence.  Then I came across that older man I had met in the last couple months before I left.  He had his camera and was focused on an adult Green Heron.  He was surprised to see me knowing I had moved.  We chatted for a bit and then went our separate ways.  I made a loop, hoping to spot one of the juvenile Green Herons.   I listened to the call of a Killdeer and wondered if it had successfully nested and raised any young this year.  They are such strange birds in the way they lay their eggs in the middle of activity - on a pathway, in the middle of a grassy field where children play, etc.

Eventually, I found my way back to my apartment.  I had work to do even if I didn't have the motivation.  So I started filling baskets and boxes, putting them on my cart and taking them out to my car, load by load.    With almost all my stuff out aside from cleaning supplies, I was losing motivation so I opened the fridge and freezer and found a couple items I could salvage before throwing the rest in a garbage bag and hauling it down to the trash chute.  

I searched my phone for lunch ideas.  Was there anywhere I would really miss that I wanted to savor one last time?  And then I thought of Wasabi Juan's which happens to be a block from the downtown superchargers where I could charge my car up while I ate.  I had yet to find a restaurant in Midtown that serves sushi burritos and had my doubts I would find one so I saw this as my last chance.

Then when my car finished charging and my sushi burrito had been eaten, I watched Birmingham in the rearview mirror as I headed east.  And now I have more stuff to find space for in my new apartment.  I'm sick of unpacking and I'm dreading the last trip back to Birmingham to clean and turn in the keys.