Meaningful work

There is a learning curve when you land on a team at a new job in the middle of a case.  They don't know me.  I don't know what they expect.  I don't know what boundaries haven't been communicated yet.  I don't yet know where I fit.

It creates some anxiety for me as I second guess my skills.

We are interviewing a witness for a case on Monday.  The team involves not only my office but state agencies across the country.  My attorney was on vacation this week.  I just met him last week.

As I have been getting up to speed on the case, there was an angle I wanted to look closer at because I wasn't sure my team understood it well and I thought it might be important for Monday's witness interview.  I did my analysis.  I checked it repeatedly, tweaked the wording and formatting, and turned it over and over in my head to make sure I hadn't missed something important.

Then I hesitated.  I would have preferred running it by my attorney first but he was on vacation and wouldn't be back until Monday.  I wanted the woman preparing for the interview to have this information before then.

So I held my breath and hit send on the e-mail to the whole team.

Would they understand it?  Had I fully grasped the concept myself?  Would it be helpful?  Did I cross any boundaries proactively doing this analysis?

I messaged my counterpart in Wisconsin about how I was feeling.  He told me that he still has moments of doubts like that even after all the years he has been doing this.  It made me feel less alone.

Then this evening as I was starting to get ready for bed, I picked up my work cell phone.  (The phone I have been swearing at for the last week and a half because it feels like an intrusion in my home!)  I thought I had gotten better about leaving it alone but something suggested I pick it up.

There was a notification of an e-mail from the woman leading the interview.  She was so appreciative.  It appears my analysis provided some clarity that had been missing.  I think it will guide the questions she asks so that we perhaps will get better information.

What a day this was!  On another case, I sat down with my supervisor about a project she wants me to do.  She thinks about these cases in ways that really intrigue me.  

With another colleague, I participated in a team call and volunteered to take on a project that I think will be really helpful.

It feels so good to be surrounded by so much meaningful work and to be finding ways to contribute already.