Wednesday, April 29, 2026

Pent up energy exhausted me

I hit a wall early this afternoon.  I got so sleepy that I struggled to keep my eyes open.  I caught myself leaning more heavily against a door frame as I talked to a colleague and repeating lines of a spreadsheet when I returned to my desk.  I actually slept better last night so it caught me by surprise at first, although I realize it's hard to catch up on sleep after so many restless nights.

But then I thought about the previous two days.  They almost feel unreal.  There is so much energy that has been wound up in me and every new development only accelerates that energy.  Even the dance class Monday night only did so much to release it.  It only makes sense that at some point my body would say "enough!"  I really hope that means I sleep well tonight.

I've secured an apartment.  I have a tentative start date although as my work day ended, I got an e-mail with some news that could delay that start date.  There are still questions to be answered and nothing I could do tonight, so I just closed my e-mail and logged off for the day.  

I worried a little as I scootered home whether I was too quick to apply for an apartment but then I reminded myself that this a unique layout I really love that doesn't come open often at a really good price and I already have in the budget the overlap of rents.  If I had waited longer, I might have missed out on it.  It's just the cost of moving and building the life I want to build.  I really think it will be worth it regardless of when my exact start date lands.

I've started talking to my boss about what I do and what needs to be done.  As I typed up the list from our conversation, a visual reminder of all the great work I do (some of it won't be easily replaced), I had a moment where I hoped he realized what he lost.  Do such self-focused people ever realize the value of what they let slip away?

I might have made a new friend in my new neighborhood.  She encouraged me to reach back out if I needed anything and then when I arrive so she can welcome me.  She was so nice to talk to.

I feel like there has been so much more I've packed into these last couple of days but it is escaping me now.  Maybe this is my cue to go to bed.

I think I'm going to wear my yellow dress tomorrow.  

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