Let me start at the beginning of the day so I can remember who I was and in what state I was when it all started. I hadn't slept well last night. I laid awake for several hours before falling asleep and then was awake way too early. It's been too many nights in a row where I didn't sleep well so I was tired.
I arrived at work around 7:30 a.m., cleaned my desk, and started to put things back. With no sign of IT, I then went in search of my computer dock, monitors, keyboard, etc. I started plugging it all in only to discover the power strip didn't work because the desk had pinched it in the wall.
Around 9:00 a.m., my colleague walked into my office and I must have let loose a litany of complaints as she stopped me to comment on my disarray (both physically and mentally). I guess my hair was a mess in addition to the attitude flowing from my lips. That is when I confided that I had not been sleeping well and was not okay. Tears started rolling down my eyes as I tried to explain the heaviness on my mind, the grief of ending this chapter.
With drier eyes, IT finally showed up along with several of the hired painters to move the desk out from the wall. Finally, my equipment (including my phone) was set up and I sat down to try and start working.
Then the phone rang. My breath caught when I read the name on the caller ID. I have been waiting for a call from a 404 area code but I expected it to be from HR or the manager I have been dealing with. This was the head of the whole office.
My mind was racing as he introduced himself and asked if I was still interested in the investigator position. I told him I was. He went on to say that he was calling to offer to it to me. The word "wow" left my lips before I thanked him. He told me HR would be following up with me and said that he hoped I would accepted. The call ended after I said "I will" and I thanked him again. I got up to step out and tell my colleague in the office next door when the phone rang again.
It was his name on the caller ID again. He had forgotten to ask me if my management knew yet because he likes to reach out to the other office when he is receiving an employee from another office. I told him that I had not yet but I would talk to my manager today. He ended the call saying he would wait a day or two.
As I hung up the phone my hands were shaking. Shock, fear, excitement, grief - it all threatened to overwhelm me. With my colleague next door busy with IT setting up her equipment, I headed to the office of the colleague who has always been my biggest advocate to tell him. My leaving will affect him the most by far. He strongly encouraged me not to think about what needed to still be done here as I made my decision on a start date.
My hands were still shaking as I continued on to the office of a friend. Another friend was walking by so I motioned her inside too and shared the news with both.
I eventually made it back to my office to send out a flurry of texts and e-mails to my community. It was in this moment that I realized how large a community of people had been walking this journey with me. As the congratulations rolled in, I was in awe.
I knew I had to talk to my boss still so I walked into his office. It was such an uneventful conversation that it left me feeling a bit uneasy. He admitted that he knew I had been looking to move into such a position. It reminded me how I would not have even been looking to move, if he had offered me the investigator job in our own office when I interviewed for it over two years ago. I think I need this move so maybe it was good I wasn't already comfortable in the role I wanted in this office.
Then I got an e-mail response back from my dad. He said, "Congratulations! It wasn't an accident that you are more than qualified. Well done." Tears threatened again as I knocked on my colleague's door to share it with her. She told me that they all knew the job was mine because I was more than qualified and she had just been waiting for me to finally hear it.
HR eventually followed up, first with a phone call asking when I wanted to start. I had no answer and wasn't prepared for such an opened question as I still processed. She said that was fine and that she would send over the tentative offer and we could figure out the start date later. Upon receiving the e-mail, I immediately accepted and started the onboarding paperwork.
And then I got an e-mail from my new boss congratulating me and expressing her excitement at working with me.
My work day ended in another friend's office with tension and energy running through me. I think she was really marveling at all the emotions running through me. I almost wished I could watch myself as an outsider.
There was a huge smile on my face as I scootered home and muttered to myself over and over that I was moving to Atlanta. It felt whimsical and unreal.
Tonight was my African Rhythms Dance class which was a very much needed release of energy. One of the drummers even got us involved in some of the singing along with the dances we were learning.
And now I sit here this evening, mostly just trying to take it all in. Tomorrow is soon enough to make a final decision on an apartment, start that application process, and then work on a list of all that needs to get done before I leave, both at work and in my personal life. And this weekend, I look forward to opening the bottle of champagne I have been saving for this exact moment.
Life is going to get a bit crazy going forward. A craziness that is going to be really good for me as I build the life I want and turn the next page. It's also going to come with some grief as I firmly close the last chapter.
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