Not that my sleep has been horrible lately but it has been a bit interrupted and it often takes me a while to fall asleep. I long for the days when I was asleep almost before my head hit the pillow and if I woke at 3 am to use the bathroom (as has been common for years), I would quickly fall back to sleep when I crawled back into bed.
It's interesting, my marriage negatively affected my body in so many ways but it rarely disrupted my sleep until it all ended.
But back to last night, the classical piano music had been playing for hours that evening as I made good progress on a 1000 piece puzzle with far too much green in it. It continued playing as I wrote last night's blog post. Then I took a bath. I turned off my music intending to read but instead found myself just soaking in the hot water in silence as my mind slowly turned down the pace of the racing thoughts.
I crawled into bed about 8:30. I had thoughts of reading but my eyes were already drifting closed so I just turned out the light and burrowed in deeper.
I still woke up once as I always do, about 4:30 am, a little later than normal but the next thing I knew, my 6:00 am alarm was sounding so I must have quickly fallen back asleep. The alarm confused me at first because rarely does it wake me. Usually, I'm already up by that point making my lunch or getting ready to step in the shower.
This morning feels different. I have barely spent any time scrolling. I made a hot breakfast. I paused at an e-mail I received last night with readings from a reflection I participated in Sunday morning and so I re-read my favorite of the three. I'm sitting with my cup of coffee and just letting my mind settle a bit. I feel more intentional. I feel more calm. I feel more settled.
And I can't stop admiring and breathing in the sweet smell of these purple bell-like flowers in the flower arrangement I bought last week. Google tells me they are Canterbury Bells and that they represent gratitude.
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