Social Media Time Out

Today marks Ash Wednesday, a time when many Christians give things up for Lent.  I've never participated in a church that really emphasized that and thus don't usually participate myself but there have always been people around me who voluntarily choose to give something up. 

With this trip my ex-husband is on, I caught myself today navigating to his Instagram profile to see what he was up to and to compare with the life I used to live.  What I saw reminded me of a type of trip we had taken many times and none of it aligned with me or what I enjoy.  So I backed out of the app quickly and opened Facebook where I saw another post (of many today) from someone taking a break from social media for Lent.  I had initially dismissed that idea when I saw earlier posts but now it was sounding like something maybe I should do.

I don't want to be tempted to follow along on his trip, to be reminded of all the compromises I made and ways I found joy in the things he enjoyed which he couldn't be bothered to reciprocate.  I don't want to be reminded of all the times he complained and sulked when we did something I wanted to do yet expected me to be present and happily participating in the things he wanted to do.   I don't want to be tempted to compare then to now.

I just want to enjoy my life for what it is, for what I have built it to be, for what I'm still working for.  I want it to stand on its own.  And I don't want him taking up any more of my headspace.

I also want to stop scrolling so much.  My Threads algorithm right now is a mix of politics and relationship woes.  I'm not sure either of which are a positive space for me right now.

So I deleted Instagram, Facebook, and Threads from my phone and closed those tabs on my laptop.  Can I stay off of them for all of Lent?  That's forty days.  I took a pause last year around Inauguration that lasted a number of weeks but I don't recall exactly how long.

What am I going to do instead?  I've got a puzzle with way too much green that I'm making progress on and a few more puzzles to pick from when it is done.  I started a book that I think is going to be really good so I'll do some reading.  I'll write.  I'll do some practical things like my taxes.  And I would really like to go through my clothes and some of my stuff to see what I can get rid of.  I'll get out and walk, maybe even head to the farmer's market on Saturday.  And I need to plan some things with friends.  Maybe there are even some events I can drop into or a class I can take.

I think this will be really good for me.