How alone I have always been

Eyes glazed over,
I sip my coffee
and savor the way it coats
my sore throat.
Eight hours wasn’t enough sleep.

The birds aren’t singing.
The train tracks are quiet.
Thoughts escape my attention
as I loosely hold that mug of coffee.
Silence overwhelms.

Bundled up tight I head out.
The bitter cold flows right through me.
Each kick of the scooter
seems to require more and more effort.
My breathing is shallow.

With cloudy judgement,
I wind between moving cars
on a busy street,
unsure of how I navigated across.
I am tired.

At a busy corner, I wait.
Movement of a shadow not my own
startles me.
I watch the light turn green
and cross the road.

Arriving at work,
the hum of the heating unit
syncs with the white noise
running through my mind.
I furiously write.

It’s in the silent moments,
like this morning,
that I realize
just how alone
I have always been.