I was talking with a friend at work about the loss of innocence and the way I used to focus so much on the good in people. I mentioned I'm really trying to not make assumptions about people as I know how damaging inaccurate assumptions can be to relationships with the way my ex-husband assumed the worst in me but that has gotten harder.
I feel like the best I can do now is just try to loosely hold them so that I'm open to adjusting them as I get more information. But even that leaves me questioning relationships and people's motives until I can gather more information. It leaves me with too much doubt. And its probably amplified right now as I relearn to trust myself.
This struggle feels like such a loss of self or at least a deep questioning of self that goes beyond losing the self I was in the marriage.
She suggested to me that I didn't have to lose that focus on seeing the good in others. I could choose to go through life with that perspective even knowing that I may sometimes get hurt and discover I was wrong. She said sometimes for our mental health we make that choice to see the world in a positive light.
I think she is right. And although it may seem difficult right now, I think I need to reclaim this characteristic I love so much about myself, my focus on the best in people. I'm already proving I can do this with situations. There's no reason I can't do the same with people.
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