My own significant other

Last week or maybe it was the end of the week before, I was standing in my colleagues office.  She had just given a fortune cookie to another colleague who didn't like his fortune and we were laughing about it.  She then turned to me and said "I have one more" as she handed me a fortune cookie.  With all their eyes on me, I unwrapped the cookie and pulled out the fortune.  I read it to myself first, laughed and then read it aloud.

"You will have a romantic dinner with your significant other."

The colleague who didn't like his fortune half joked as he walked out reminding me not to pick a stranger for my romantic dinner.

I have to say I had a moment of irritation.  It was the same day my supervisor had commented on my sweater saying I should wear it for Valentine's Day.  I had avoided Valentine's Day the year before and at that time, figured I would do the same this year.  I didn’t really want to be reminded of a couple’s holiday.

But then I thought about it a little bit more.  I have become my own significant other.  And I am a better significant other to myself than my ex-husband ever was to me, even in the height of our intense early dating days.  I don't recall him ever doing a single thing for me for Valentine's Day.  I remember the video I made him a few years back and a few other little things I did for him over the years but generally it was an ignored holiday.

I used to say we didn't need Valentine's Day because we did things for each other every day of the year, except he didn't actually do things for me the other 364 days of the year either.  So it was really just something I told myself to hang onto the illusion.  

It’s funny, he made some off-handed comment as we were breaking up that he wished we had exchanged more gifts over the years.  To make a wishful statement like that of something that he had the power to change as he walked out the door seemed really shitty to me.  It came across as one more thing he expected of me that he wasn’t willing to do himself or even communicate about, for that matter.

Anyway, back to today, this Valentine’s Day, and my fortune.  I’ve got a date with myself planned for this evening.  I’ve picked out a dress.  I’m going to try this new Japanese restaurant downtown.  And I might even go pick up some flowers.