The things we do for a man

I've always been a bit unconventional.  When my ex-husband first met me, I did not regularly shave my legs.  I prefer the soft hair over the prickles that so quickly grow in and I hate the time it takes.  It's also harsh on my skin.  So despite society's expectations and my grandmother's horror when she saw me wear a dress with unshaved legs, I was just me.

Then I met my ex-husband.  He didn't ever complain about the hair on my legs or explicitly tell me he wanted me to shave them.  But I could tell he wasn't crazy about them.  So I shaved them and I could really tell how much he appreciated smooth legs.

And that's what I continued to do for 20 years.

So when he told me he wanted a divorce, I stopped shaving.  It was an easy decision.  I had never done that for myself.  It had always been just for him.

As the months have passed since the separation, I have discovered other things I did just because it is what he wanted.  I believe this happens to a certain extent even in healthy relationships.  We make compromises.  We care enough about someone else to want to incorporate their preferences in our life.

But was it balanced?  If I asked him today, could he list specific things he did for 20 years that he wouldn't have otherwise just for me?  I'm not sure he could.

And is something relating to my body that doesn't even actually affect him, one of those things I should have given in on so completely?

Just running through my normal routines, these are some of the changes I have made now that I am single that better align with my preferences.

• I don't watch TV. (It used to be on almost all waking hours.)
• I read so much more. (I struggled to focus on reading because of the TV noise.)
• I eat completely different vegetables, have a whole section of my fridge for pickles and olives, and don't worry about my breath if I want to eat garlic. (The only veggies he ever seemed to eat were broccoli and cauliflower and he hated my garlic breath so much I avoided a food I love.)
• I eat when I'm hungry without regard for the time.  (Dinner was always right at 5:30 while we watched the evening news.)
• I let my pans air dry in the still residually warm oven.  (He used to hate when I did that.)
• I open the windows a lot.  (We never opened the windows because he didn't like the noise.)
• I get up earlier and often go to bed earlier.
• I have had the same car for the past year and a half.  (He would switch ours out about every six months or so.  He has already traded his car in since the divorce despite getting the newer of the two in the settlement.)
• And as was the focus of this post, I don't shave my legs.

And those are just the things that quickly come to mind.  My gut says there was plenty more.  What would his list look like?