Uplifting Connections

I had lunch today with an interesting group from church.  As I was walking the last block to my apartment, I ran into one of my friends with her partner.  They were headed to the restaurant right near my place to meet another couple they often have lunch with who I knew by sight but had never really talked to.  My friend invited me to join them and despite the fact that I was soaked through and through from the rain, I agreed.  I'm really glad I accepted the invitation.

I love how uplifting each one of these individuals were.  It's a characteristic in so many of my new friendships that so often had been missing before and that I am starting to realize is essential for fulling relationships for me going forward.  

With people who uplift one another, there is balance in the conversation.  People listen more than or at least as much as they speak.  There is genuine curiosity.  Compliments, admiration, and encouragement flow freely back and forth.  There is depth.  And the topics cover ideas, beliefs, goals, personal experiences instead of gossiping about other people.  The only time our conversation turned to talking about someone not present was to express admiration for our pastor and his message today.  

These are the kind of people who have no interest in competing with you.  They see your success as something that is as important as their own and they proactively ask you about your projects and goals.

Additionally, there is this solid communication of an appreciation for the staff we interact with like our server at lunch today.  That's not to say the other types of people I have been in relationship were necessarily rude to customer service staff but they also weren't appreciative.

Another difference I find in these uplifting type of individuals is how much of a full life they have - volunteer work, community and social group involvement, books they are writing, active hobbies, etc.  Maybe that's the secret, when you are living a fulfilling, complete life, you have no need to compete with others.

Although I wish I had connected with people like this earlier, I'm really glad I'm connecting with them now.