I know the day will not stay dark. The sun always comes out, even if sometimes it is a bit dimmed by the clouds. I've spent the last year and a half building, growing, and truly living. I can point to so much evidence of how much better off I am and I know that even more is to come.
But right now, the pain is sharp. I'm angry at myself for investing so much into such an imbalanced relationship with someone who was so self-focused at the expense of the marriage they committed to. I'm angry at him for all the lies, manipulations, and confusion. I'm angry that I chose someone with so little integrity and empathy that he could end a relationship the way he did and then move on so quickly. And I'm frustrated at how long it is taking to pick up the emotional pieces from the damage he caused.
So I'm going to take this extra moment with my coffee this morning with the butterfly in my hair. And I'm going to remind myself of the community I have built which is supporting me and will help me get through this. Last night, I had a good session with my therapist. Then I called my parents. And then as I unpacked and admired all the souvenirs from my trip (mostly cool socks), I texted back and forth with a woman that has become a really good friend.
And I know there are people when I get into the office today who will check in on me. Maybe I'll even reach out to my Wisconsin friend. I always enjoy hearing from her.
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